It's been a while. Things happen. Sometimes good, sometimes shit. Life goes on.
Since December....some improvements. Many actually, though some are more visible in retrospect. I had my knees injected in January '16 with my own stem cells. Once the borrelia finished snacking on them, I was back where I started. So I had it done again along with my right wrist and thumb. Same price - flat rate on all of it. Insurance wouldn't pay this time. I guess they wised up. That's okay. At least my knees, wrist and thumb work again without constant pain.
I think I turned the corner on my tick infections around February-March. It was hard to tell due to it being so gradual. By June I was having at least as many good days as bad. April and June were hot but I was better able to tolerate the heat and humidity than the previous summer. I could cool off and restart rather than passing out for most of the rest of the day.
I started volunteering at a local military museum, primarily restorative maintenance. It helps to keep me moving, provides some social interaction and challenges the brain.
During the past almost two years the online/ld relationship I had deteriorated. She kept pushing me further away. It would get better - slightly - but slip further apart. And she wouldn't talk about it. I'm 99% certain she hasn't started another relationship. What she had done was become politically aware. A political newbie with all of the answers. Half of them were wrong and the other half skewed. I refused to talk politics and even dropped off of my FacistBook page, sneaking back in on occasion to see what she was up to. That pissed her off. She wanted to me to have to experience her postings. Which I had NO interest in. She would bait me into discussing politics. I might be slow sometimes...but not stupid. So she unfriended me. (That is clue, right there.)
She stopped taking my phone calls except on very rare occasions, and not returning texts for a day, sometimes not responding at all. It was evident I was being dumped in slow motion. She had hung up on me, pissed, last February. And that pissed me off as well. I didn't call her back. Nor text. At all. She hung up on me, she could damn well call me back. Nothing. I did send her a valentine, which sort of broke the ice. She did text, saying I had "left". Hmmmm.....she hangs up on me and never says nor texts a word and I left?
I could see the writing on that wall. It was in flaming neon, after all, and I wasn't totally blind. Close enough to blind that a white cane could be helpful...but I could see that. Things improved from there. For that matter simply acknowledging my existence was an improvement.
Three weeks ago I had a big personal improvement. My cataracts, especially the left one, got so bad that I really was blind in that eye. So eye surgery was performed. Left one first, then the right one two weeks later. The change is ....breathtaking! Still getting drops six times a day but from 16" to infinity my vision is perfect! Night time driving is interesting. Big halos that look like monster sized spider webs surround bright lights. But at least I can see and READ road signs. Major improvement. Things were looking up. Literally.
Of course that couldn't continue. After the Charlottesville debacle, my long distance lovely decided that she wouldn't continue being friends with anyone who wouldn't hate Trump. That included everyone. Okay, he's a jerk a lot of the time. He IS doing some things that need to be done. But I had to HATE him or it was over. I have been called contrary. Yeahhh....that's about as nice a way to put it that I know how. I don't need to be told how to think. I can do that on my own. Sometimes it isn't that well done, but I can manage it. She can hate him all she wants. What she CAN'T do is tell me who to hate or not, or what to think or not. Her description was if I "supported" him, she wouldn't stay. That I had "let her walk away". Support? He's a fucking billionaire. He could support me with pocket change. I don't work for him, I don't campaign for him, I hate most social media (look how often I keep this page updated. And it's mine.) But, yes, I think that he is certainly an improvement over the flaming, radioactive train wreck that was the alternative. So...she's gone.
I'll miss her. I know that. The two weeks in February were brutal. The palpitations that the babesiosis/borrellia/RMSF/whothefuckknowselse made me feel like my heart needed a rebuild. That coupled with the air hunger made life a questionable endeavor. I don't think (I hope) that it will be as much of an issue this time. I haven't had either the heart or breathing problems in a couple months. Sleeping sucks. Fuck it, sleep is over rated.
Life goes on. I just keep hunting.
ciao
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